Dear Jesus, we come together to learn how we, as individuals and
as a congregation, can better bear one another ‘s burdens.” Grant us
courage to care and be cared for, and provide us with insight on how
Stephen Ministry can make St. Mark’s a more caring community. Bless
our time together. In your name we pray. Amen.
The words “one another” and “each other” are used over 50 times in
the New Testament. What this tells us is that God did not create us
to be independent. He created us to be interdependent. We are made
in his own image—to be loving, caring, forgiving. He created us to
need one another. “It is not good that man should be alone” (Genesis
2:18).
Also note that these passages do not simply say “bear other’s
burdens” or “love others.” The “one another” and “each other” phrase
gives them a reciprocal meaning: I will bear your burdens, and you
will bear mine. In this sense, an openness to Christian caring is
not just being willing to care for and help others. It is also being
willing to be cared for and be helped by others. For many that part
can be much more difficult.
Stephen Ministry is a system of caring ministry we have here at St.
Mark’s. In it, Stephen Ministers, specially trained congregation
members, provide one-to-one Christian care to people who are
experiencing a life challenge or crisis.
St. Mark’s Church has had Stephen Ministers since 1997. In that time
21 committed persons have been trained, 5 have retired, and 16
people are actively serving.
Active Stephen Ministers as of June 2010 are Jane Angle, Lou DeSeau,
Larue Dieter, Pastor Elkin, Kathy Eshelman, Shirley Kinney, Gladys
Knauss, Jane Larson, Larry Lehman, Catherine Lundy, Carol McMorris,
Davis McMorris, Mary Schultz, Connie Shaible, Henrietta Tyson and
Carl Weaver.
As a Stephen Ministry congregation, we’re proud of something big.
There are over 7,000 Stephen Ministry congregations from over 90
denominations worldwide, Over a quarter-million lay people have been
trained as Stephen Ministers. Stephen Ministry was developed in 1975
by Dr. Kenneth Haugk, a pastor and clinical psychologist. who saw
that he alone as pastor could not provide all the caring ministry
needs in his congregation. So he began training lay persons, called
Stephen Ministers, to help provide high quality Christian care. The
ministry was so successful that other churches became interested and
Dr. Haugk founded the not-for-profit Stephen Ministries
organization. Today, 30 years later, Dr. Haugk is still the
executive director of the Stephen Ministries organization, based in
St. Louis. The 50-person staff of Stephen Ministries St. Louis
produces and delivers resources and training to support Stephen
Ministry in thousands of congregations.
The team of people who direct our Stephen Ministry in the
congregation are our two Stephen Leaders, who were trained at a
seven-day Leader’s Training Course taught by the faculty of the
Stephen Ministries organization. Our Stephen Leaders are Kathy
Eshelman and Pastor Elkin. Our Stephen Leaders recruit, select, and
train members of our congregation to be Stephen Ministers. Stephen
Ministers receive 50 hours of training in Christian care giving
skills. This training involved general topics like listening skills,
feelings, assertiveness, and boundaries, and specialized topics like
using prayer and other Christian resources or how to minister to
someone experiencing grief, divorce, a terminal illness, and more.
Upon completion of their training, we commission our Stephen
Ministers in our worship services. This is a way for our whole
congregation to recognize that we are sending out these trained
caregivers to provide one-on-one Christian care on our behalf to
people in need. By commissioning our Stephen Ministers in a worship
service, we are all recognizing that Stephen Ministry belongs to all
of us—-everyone at St. Mark’s. It is our ministry and a way we as a
congregation care for the needs of people in our congregation and
community.
Our Stephen Leaders pair up each Stephen Minister with a member of
the congregation or community who needs care. To whom are Stephen
Ministers trained to provide care? They care for people experiencing
divorce, the death of a loved one, hospitalization, loss of a job, a
terminal illness, a relocation, the birth of a child, an empty nest,
the transition into retirement, loneliness, a spiritual crisis—the
list goes on and on. Many of these needs might otherwise go
unnoticed or slip through the cracks because we would have lacked
the staff to meet them. With Stephen Ministry, we have a team of
well-trained Christian caregivers who can provide care in these
situations.
Stephen Ministers have one care receiver at a time. They meet with
that person in a private, one-to-one, confidential setting for about
an hour a week but may touch base on the phone once or twice a week.
Here is where we want to underscore one of the key points of Stephen
Ministry: It is a confidential ministry. The only people who know
the identity of a care receiver are that care receiver him or
herself, his or her Stephen Minister, and the pastor or Stephen
Leader who linked the two together. Nobody else knows—not even the
other Stephen Ministers or Stephen Leaders. This way, care receivers
can feel assured that anything they tell their Stephen Minister will
remain confidential.
Stephen Ministers and Stephen Leaders get together twice a month for
continuing education and supervision. Continuing education is a way
for Stephen Ministers to be always learning, growing, and enhancing
their caregiving ability. Supervision, meanwhile, allows Stephen
Ministers to guide and support one another in their ministry— and
provide the best care possible to their care receivers.
Confidentiality, again, is a major emphasis of supervision. Names
are never mentioned and details about the care receiver are never
discussed. The focus of supervision in not what is going on in the
care receiver’s life—it is on the relationship between the Stephen
Minister and the care receiver. This way. care receivers can feel
assured that no one will know they are receiving care from a Stephen
Minister and that anything they tell their Stephen Minister will
remain confidential.
These are the basic concepts of Stephen Ministry. it is important to
note that Stephen Ministry is an ongoing ministry. More people may
attend a Leader’s Training Course to be trained as Stephen Leaders
to replace existing ones to expand the team. More Stephen Ministers
are trained as needed. As one caring relationship ends, Stephen
Ministers are given a new assignment, so caregiving goes on and on
and Stephen Ministry becomes a permanent fixture in our
congregation.
Why do we have Stephen Ministry? People sometimes may ask or think,
why do we need Stephen Ministers— don’t we have pastors to provide
caring ministry? Our pastors are like firefighters—-when a crisis
happens, they rush to the scene to put out the fire. But shortly
after that, another fire will break - out in our congregation, and
they’ll rush to that scene.
They still will provide care to the victims of the first fire, but
their time quickly becomes consumed by the second, third, and fourth
fires. This is on top of their other duties as pastors.
This is where Stephen Ministers come in. The pastors will always be
our firefighters, but Stephen Ministers are people who come in after
the fire is put out (and sometimes before) and help the victims sort
through and clear the debris arid begin to rebuild. Stephen
Ministers continue to give care as long as needed during the
rebuilding process—one month, two months, six months, possibly a
year or more. They provide the steady, consistent one-to-one follow
up care that our pastors want to, but simply cannot provide.
We Are All Called to Care
We have Stephen Ministry because God calls every one of us to love
and care for one another. Remember the story Jesus told in Matthew
25, when the people asked, “Lord, when did we see you hungry and
feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a
stranger and welcome you or naked and cloth you? When did we see you
sick or in prison and visit you?” Jesus wasn’t telling that story
only to pastors; he was speaking to all of us.
Putting Spiritual Gifts to Use
The Holy Spirit has blessed us all with gifts for ministry. Stephen
Ministry provides a place where those who have the gifts for caring
ministry can put them to use in a meaningful way.
The Needs are There
Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mount Everest? Because it was
there. Why do we have a caring ministry to meet people’s needs?
Because the needs are there. Sometimes the needs are quiet and can
go unnoticed. Sometimes people think, “My need isn’t important
enough—I’ll go it alone.” Or we want to look the other way just as
the three men did who preceded the Samaritan on the road to Jericho.
The needs are there—people’s hearts are wounded, their lives broken.
They are in need of Christ’s love and healing. Stephen Ministry
helps our church meet the many needs that are out there.
Reaching Out With Christ’s Love
Stephen Ministry can be a wonderful outreach of Christ’s love both
our own members and to the community. In the second chapter of his
epistle, James tells us, “Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied
by action, is dead.” He says we need to be “doers of the Word, not
just hearers.” Just talking about loving and caring for one another
doesn’t automatically make us a loving and caring congregation. We
need to be doers! Stephen Ministry is a wonderful way to be doers of
the Gospel. We can knock on the door of an unchurched person and
say, “Jesus loves you,” and they might listen. But if we meet
their needs for care during a difficult time in their life and let
them experience Jesus’ love and forgiveness working through a
Stephen Minister, they will listen.
Fulfills the mission of Our Congregation
Stephen Ministry also fits in with the mission of our congregation.
The basic objective of our Social Ministry Committee states that its
purpose is to proclaim Jesus Christ to each other and to all the
world by providing the opportunities to share God’s love. To this
end the Committee will address social needs by leading the
congregation in extending Christian compassion and helpfulness to
the iii, aged, orphaned, and persons of all ages in need.
Jesus’ Great Commandment and Great Commission
One final reason for Stephen Ministry. Jesus gave us his Great
Commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself’ (Matthew 22:39) and
his Great Commission: “Therefore go and make disciples” (Matthew
28:19). Stephen Ministry is one tangible way we can fulfill Jesus’
Great Commandment and Great Commission.
Who benefits from Stephen Ministry?
The Person Receiving Care
Our Pastors
Stephen Ministers and Stephen Leaders
The Congregation
Congregation Members
The Church
The Person Receiving Care
Who benefits from Stephen Ministry? The most obvious answer is the
person who receives care. He or she no longer has to walk alone
through life’s struggles. A Stephen Minister walks alongside this
person for as long as he or she needs care, bringing Jesus’
unconditional love and acceptance to this person. Care receivers
often reflect on how close they have grown to Jesus because of the
care they received from a Stephen Minister during a time of crisis.
Our Pastors
Our pastor also benefits from Stephen Ministry. Stephen Ministry was
begun by a pastor who realized that he could not meet all needs for
care by himself and needed a way to keep people from slipping
through the cracks. Stephen Ministry gives pastors a way to make
sure people get the care they need. Pastors can know with confidence
that people in need are receiving quality Christian care, for as
long as they need it, from a Stephen Minister.
Pastors also benefit from being equippers as well as ministers.
Stephen Ministry helps pastors fulfill their calling to “equip the
saints for the work of the ministry” (Ephesians 4:12 NRSV) by giving
them the means to equip and organize lay people for caring ministry
needs. They are part of a community of caregivers. That community
also can minister to, support, and care for the pastor in his or her
time of need.
Stephen Ministers and Stephen Leaders
The Stephen Ministers and Stephen Leaders benefit. Although they
participate in this ministry out of a desire to serve and care for
others, they encounter tremendous growth themselves. Because of the
confidentiality they cannot tell you who their care receivers were
or what happened, but they can tell you how much they have grown,
personally and spiritually, be seeing Jesus work through them to
change the life of another person.
The Congregation
The entire congregation benefits from Stephen Ministry. People no
longer slip through the cracks. People feel cared for in their time
of need. There is a ripple effect to Stephen Ministry. Many Stephen
Ministers are also active in Sunday school, on church boards and
committees, in Bible studies and small groups, in fellowship groups,
social events, vacation Bible school, and more. They find themselves
using their enhanced caring ministry skills on everyone with whom
they relate or interact.
The congregation benefits because fewer people slip through the
crack. Where caring needs surface, Stephen Ministry provides a way
to fill those needs. Our congregation becomes a more caring
community where people know their needs will be met.
Congregation Members
Even if you never become a Stephen Minister or a care receiver, you
also benefit for a couple of reasons. Probably every one of us has
known someone who has faced a difficult crisis—perhaps a neighbor, a
coworker, a friend, or a relative. We may have wanted to help
somehow but didn’t know how beyond saying, “I’m praying for you,” or
sending them a card. Sometimes we might even have avoided that
person because we weren’t sure what to say or how to help. Stephen
Ministry now gives you a place where you can connect those people to
receive Jesus’ love and care when they need it most. You can pull
that person aside and lovingly say, “I know you’ve been going
through a rough time lately. Let me tell you about a ministry at our
church that provides one-to-one Christian care to people going
through tough times.” You can put them in touch with a pastor or
Stephen Minister who can take the next step and, if appropriate,
match them with a Stephen Minister. No longer do you not know what
to say or do.
You also benefit from what you might call the safety net analogy.
Suppose you were a tight-rope walker crossing the high wire 100 feet
above the ground. Would you fell more secure or less if you had a
safety net beneath you? Being in a Stephen Ministry congregation is
like having a great safety net beneath you. Even if you never use
it, it is comforting for you to know that the safety net is there to
catch you in the event that you should lose your balance—and to know
it is also there to catch your loved ones as well.
The Church
Last of all, the church benefits. By church, I mean more than just
our congregation. The church as a whole benefits because more people
experience Christ’s love in a significant way, are called to Christ,
and grow in faith. They become better disciples and thus are better
able to reach out with Jesus’ love to still others who may be
outside the church.
“BEAR
ONE ANOTHER’S BURDENS”